Friday, March 30, 2018

B*tching someone?


Notice anything?


Dalam hidup ni, kita memang takkan mampu memuaskan hati semua orang dan bukan kerja kita pun untuk sentiasa memuaskan hati semua orang. Kita buat baik pun orang kata apatah lagi kita buat jahat. Kita keluarkan statement yang kita sendiri tak rasa something fishy or rasa macam okay je takde masalah pun, TETAP ada masalah pada pandangan orang lain. Even sis post apa-apa kat blog sis pun, tetap ada orang soksek soksek kat belakang. But, never mind. Who cares, kan?


Bila kita sibuk dengan apa yang orang akan kata pasal kita, kita memang akan stress. For what? So, abaikan je apa yang orang kata tentang kita as long as kita tahu kita tak buat perkara-perkara yang haram dan bertentangan dengan perintah Allah, that's it. And people, why don't we (yang rasa macam betul sangat), kita tegur je kesalahan or kesilapan orang tu (with manners, of course) instead of kita "membawang" dan cakap belakang atau dijadikan bahan jenaka?


Fenomena "membawang" ini makin menjadi-jadi. Perkataan "membawang" ini wujud seolah-olah macam nak tunjukkan perbuatan "membawang" itu tidak salah instead of kita guna mengumpat. Bila kita sebut mengumpat, nampaklah yang kita sedang buat dosa. Tapi bila guna perkataan "membawang" ni, macam "takpe je, aku tak mengumpat." Eh eh ehhh... Personally, I don't really like this word. Macam nak promote mengumpat tapi versi tak berdosa (tapi masih berdosa, sebenarnya).


Media sosial pun sebenarnya one of the medium yang promote manusia supaya "membawang". Nowadays, perasan tak, lebih-lebih lagi sejak ada Instagram story dan WhatsApp status, kita mudah nak meluahkan segala perasaan kita sama ada tak puas hati kat orang ke marah kat orang ke, kita post dan sebenarnya dalam masa yang sama kita timbulkan pertanyaan kat hati mereka yang membaca.



"Eh, dia ni tujukan untuk si mamat ke?"

"Rasanya macam dia maksudkan si minah. Sebab tadi aku nampak bla bla bla.."

"Aku ke yang dia maksudkan kat status ni?"



Boleh menimbulkan fitnah dan dari situ juga orang ramai buat assumptions.

Dia macam, entahlah... Kalau semua orang bersangka baik, pasti dunia ni aman dan damai kan? Sebelum kita buat assumptions pun, apa kata kita bersangka baik dulu and let it go.

Dan kita pun, kalau boleh agak outcome yang akan jadi bila kita post tu, better don't do it. Sebab kita sendiri yang menimbulkan fitnah terhadap diri sendiri. Pastu sedih bila orang soksek kat belakang. Ayoyyooo...


Tujuan utama kehidupan ini adalah untuk meraih redha Allah. bukan redha manusia :')


Tak salah untuk kita sebagai manusia, see good in people. Melihat kebaikan dalam diri seseorang. Apa yang kita buat kat orang, itulah yang kita akan dapat balik. Jadi, kalau kita sentiasa berkata tentang orang, tanpa disedari, orang lain pun sentiasa berkata tentang kita.


Fitrah manusia ni akan tertarik untuk melakukan kebaikan. Kenapa kita sendiri nak melanggar fitrah kehidupan kita? Penciptaan manusia ni, Allah ciptakan penuh dengan kebaikan dan keunikan. Why not we just explore the Kebaikans yang ada dalam diri seseorang manusia. There's nothing wrong about it. Kenapa kita lebih suka pandang keburukan yang satu berbanding dengan kebaikan yang banyak?


Dalam diri seorang manusia, penuh dengan 1001 kebaikan. Setiap manusia, pasti ada kebaikan dalam dirinya. Ya, PASTI! Mungkin kali pertama kita mengenali seseorang adalah kita berhadapan dengan situasi yang kita tidak inginkan, namun, itu bukanlah kayu pengukur untuk terus kita melabel seseorang sebagai seorang yang buruk dan jelek. Mungkin juga kita mengenali seseorang melalui cerita rakan kita, tetapi tidak bermakna dia selamanya seperti dalam cerita kawan kita tu. I mean, come on people, we are in 2018 already.


Why is it so hard? Because we love to jump into a conclusion and labelled them this and that before we know the exact problems or background of their life. Another word, judgmental. Setiap masalah pasti ada puncanya. So, before we labelled one person this and that, why not we put ourselves in their shoes first. We never knew what they had gone through... Their struggles and all! Just like us. We have our own struggle and our own problems and our own background of life. Imagine, there are some people making assumptions towards you before they get to know you first, what do you feel? Mesti kita akan rasa kecewa dan marah. So, sama jelah macam orang yang kita duk sibuk-sibuk kata tu.


Walaupun dia bercanggah dengan kita, it doesn't mean that they are bad to us. Hanya disebabkan kita tak sehaluan dan tidak mempunyai fikiran yang sama, tidak semestinya kita tak boleh berkawan atau kita perlu menjauhi dirinya. Kadang-kadang, kita belum pernah kenal seseorang tapi disebabkan terdengar soksek soksek orang tu kata, kita pun termakan sekali. Padahal, we never knew them punnnn!


Lihatlah seseorang dengan penuh kebaikan.
Appreciate and respect the differences. Simple.


Yang hitam, yang kita selalu nampak. Yang putih, dibuta-butakan. Haaaaaaa....

The purpose of life is to learn and of course to worship Allah too. So, from people also we can learn. Dan kadang-kadang, apa yang kita dapat itu tak semestinya direct tetapi sesuatu yang perlu kita fikirkan di sebaliknya. Sama ada, kita terfikir atau tak? Ambil yang baik, tinggalkan yang buruk.


Pandangan kita mungkin berbeza.
Tapi tujuan hidup kita semua sama, iaitu..
Syurga.

Kita taknak masuk syurga sorang-sorang kan?


Wallahua'lam.

I'm still learning, so do you.
Let's chase for mardhatillah, bi iznillah.

Thursday, March 22, 2018

Of heartbreak and moving on


"Wow, Sarah tak move on lagi ke?"

Wait... Read till the end.

I barely do this.

I'm not going to promote this blog post like I used to do for the previous posts on social media. Why? Whenever I didn't promote it, it means, it's special. Special to those who loves to blogwalking or suddenly want to read my blog or whatever. Sebab dia macam rahsia yang tak perlu dihebahkan tapi it's okay to sit still on my blog without promoting it. Got it? Sounds complicated kan.


Alhamdulillah, I've moved on. Hopefully, it stays. But sometimes, I kinda miss that feelings. Too many feelings and it mixed up! Social media gives a very bad influence, btw. Sometimes, I feel useless and I'm not helping myself. I'm not giving the best cooperation ever with myself because I hurt myself. By.... Well, there's a lot of medium nowadays, so hmm...


Sometimes, I keep questioning the same questions.

"Kenapa aku tak dapat dulu? Kenapa dia boleh dapat?'

"Why am I not getting that kind of attention dulu?"

"Why he can do this and that to her? Dulu, I tak pun."


Well, the answer is simple.

Aku juga yang minta untuk tidak berada dalam situasi tu. For the sake of my dignity.
And whenever I have that kind of thoughts, I keep telling myself,

"Do you really want that kind of attention?"

I love those days, where I'm still single, not falling in love and free from this post-heartbroken phase. But well, bukan semua orang dapat rasa kot benda-benda macam ni. Tetibe rasa, I'm lucky :')))

I can say, the new version of old Sarah has back but you know, of course the scars are still there.

Moving on means I accept the fact that I'm not in the relationship with him anymore and he already replaced me with someone new. I accept that fact and we cannot delete all those memories from our mind. This what moving on is.

Mula-mula dulu, terkilan lah. Sebab we kinda have some agreements. Well, biasanya perempuan je yang ingat semua tu but umm never mind. I'm 21, still young and sweet ;) so, still have long time and long journey to go. Why would I getting worried? Well, I'm not getting worried about jodoh thingy pun.


I can say that love is an addiction too. No wonder why there are some people who did a rebound. They hook up with someone new just to avoid the pain of break up. Because when we are in love, there is a hormone being produced to keep us happy which is Dopamine. Dopamine causes addiction because if we didn't get the same level of Dopamine suddenly (like after the break up), we tend to seek for other things to make us happy, to reach the same level of Dopamine like before. So, it is addicted. Well, you can do some researches on the internet, just Google and you'll find there's a lot of articles about that. Trust me.


Tapi, addiction ni ada cure. Yes, there is! It depends on you how many days, months or years you need. It might take years to heal but it is treatable. Jadi, jangan gunakan alasan, kita dah try tapi tak boleh. Of course, you can! It might take longer time than you expect. Berdoa kepada Allah itu adalah kekuatan yang terbesar. Kerana perasaan ini milik Allah dan hanya akan kembali kepada Allah. Maka, berdoalah. Hati juga Allah yang pegang. Maka, berdoalah. Believe in yourself, you can do it! Jangan bagi alasan. Kalau tak boleh, itu semua atas diri kita sendiri. Kita sendiri yang taknak tolong diri kita.


Anyway, I'm getting better. I'm glad that I can do it, yes of course! but umm, sometimes I miss all the memories. Tapi rasanya kalau perkara tu berterusan sampai sekarang, entahlah. So, thanks to Allah. I learn something from this new experience. It's just 3 months but there are a lot of bittersweet memories. I miss to have the gut instincts towards someone, I miss talking and laughing to him (I admit), I miss writing (love) letters and giving him present and all hahahahaha k abaikan abaikan.


I miss every single things. Rasa kelakar pun ada juga bila after break up, macam banyak perkara berubah hahahaha... Ayoyoyo (ahh lantaklah). See, I think I just miss the moments not the person much, kot? I don't know.


So, yeah. #SarahOK seriously. I'm not broken anymore. I'm here, to tell the world that I'm okay. Just sometimes, I miss the moments. Not because of I didn't move on yet. Already make a move. So, I'm  literally okay and happy girl now, alhamdulillah.



Thanks for reading, dear loyal readers XOXO

P/s: I barely do this, revealing how I feel publicly? So, just want to tell you my thoughts, maybe you wonder how I bear with the pain or did I not miss anything about us or things related to it. I do.u But in order to be happy, I have to let it go. Why do I have to hold on to something that can hurt me again and again? Saya bukan Tuhan, biarlah Allah yang menentukan perjalanan kehidupan kita. Perjalanan kita masih panjang, tiada apa-apa perkara pun boleh menjamin kehidupan seseorang. Have faith and keep praying :) 

Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Randomly random


Random thoughts.

Well, kinda miss that feelings.

But I'm already make a  move, okay. I'm okay and I'm doing fine and better days after days alhamdulillah. It's just I'm missing that feelings hahahaha, well it is so weird tbh.

Perkara biasa, mungkin?

Aku okay. Seriously, I'm happy with my life.

So, yeah... 6 months, today.

If you happened to read this, please know that ermm ummm okay nothing.