"What is your life goal?"

Well, that's the hardest question I guess?

Have you ever think about it? When people ask you,

"What is your life goal?"

Some might have said a cliche one... but, oh well, who cares, that's their goals. So, how about us?

Lama aku berfikir tentang apakah sebenarnya matlamat hidup aku?

Adakah apabila kita telahpun mencapai matlamat hidup kita, maka hidup kita akan berakhir?

Jadi, adakah matlamat hidup perlu dibuat untuk jangka masa yang agak panjang?

Perlukah matlamat hidup menjadi sesuatu yang realistik atau sekadar fantasi?

Maka, segala jawapan hanya ada pada diri kita. You don't need to tell the world. It's just you.

I've been thinking about this (like throughout of my life?). I'm not really sure whether I do have my life goal or not.

Like, when I was in school, my goal was to be accepted into medical school and alhamdulillah, I did it. I wanted to get a scholarship because I don't want to burden my family (after seeing my parents were struggling to survive) and alhamdulillah I did it too (though it is a "Pinjaman Boleh Ubah", in shaa Allah I akan ubah dia).

I wanted 5A's for my UPSR and Allah gave it.

I wanted 9A's for my PMR and Allah gave it too.

I wanted 11A's for my SPM and I didn't get it but.....

Oh well, it's a long story. Long story short, He still give the chance to do medicine.

Allah sangat baik!

Tapi aku tak rasa aku adalah yang terbaik untuk Dia. Throughout my life, I feel like I got almost everything I want. Yes, almost everything.

Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.

Selalu sangattttt rasa tak layak sangat sebab kita pendosa. Kita selalu minta but never return something to Allah. You get me?

Because I thought, by achieving these goals, I'll make my parents proud. I did but somehow I don't feel that I'm satisfied. You know, as you grow bigger and your goals yang dulu tu dah tercapai, of course you want a new life goal. To make your parents more proud of you. Jasa, memang tak terbalas lah.

I have renew my life goals. This time is plural hehe.

But, this time is different. I don't know how to explain but it's different.

Mungkin sebab dah besar kot dan semua keputusan kena pandai buat sendiri. Salah buat keputusan, salah jalan. Tapi, tak rasa ke keputusan yang kita buat tu adalah part of Allah's plan?

Mungkin keputusan kita memang akan bawa ke jalan yang salah but it's only temporary?

Then, He'll show the Siratal Mustaqim back. Tak ke?

Sebenarnya, kita sangat perlu tetapkan matlamat hidup kita supaya kita tidak terpesong jauh. Manusia yang mempunyai wawasan dan matlamat is a gem! Tak semua manusia, pernah berfikir sedalam-dalam yang mungkin tentang matlamat hidup dia.

When you find one, be friends with her/him because whenever you burnt out, they'll get you back on your track.

I choose to be a doctor because I'm inspired by the doctors all around the world yang volunteer to help people out there. Like, what a purest and sincerest heart they have! There's no allowance or payment but you need to spend your money.

It's better for them to just have a rest at their home and spending time with their hobbies and relaxing but them....

They volunteered to spend time with the citizen instead of their beloved family!

You want to know why?

Sebab melakukan kebaikan adalah satu kepuasan sebenarnya.

Allah telah menciptakan semua hamba-Nya dengan satu fitrah yang kita tak boleh nafikan iaitu,

Kepuasan dalam melakukan kebaikan.

Kalau ada yang tak puas hati ketika melakukan kebaikan atau mempunyai niat yang sebaliknya dalam melakukan kebaikan, there must be something wrong with one's heart. That's it.

For me, it's a satisfaction when you can see someone is smiling back to you after you do good deed to them.

It's a satisfaction when someone say "Thank You" or maybe dia tak cakap pun but we know they thanked us.

It's a satisfaction when you see they united with their family back and live their life happily.

And many moreeeeee!

I hope, I'll get to feel that kind of satisfaction one day.

I hope, I'll get the chance to see a positive change in someone's life by my bare hand (with the power of Almighty).

I hope, I can serve for the ummah.

I want to "wakafkan" diri untuk ummah. I want to see the world is smiling again!

I want to spread the positiveness to the world!

Let's do this, peeps!

No matter who you are. We are Khalifah in this world and we have the chance to do that!

We are in our own timezone

Well, hello peopleeeeeee. Long time no see! I miss blogging soooooo much but it's hard for me to think what kind of topic I would like to share. And maybeeee, this time is the best time (kottt).



"Don't rush into a relationship just because all of your friends has partner and getting married. We are in our own timezone." -Unknown



You get me?

Do you get the rough idea what kind of topic tonight?

I know, I'm still YOUNG to discuss on this topic but somehow I feel that I should.

Since, I am 20 this year, and my friends (like ramai jugakkkk kot) dah ada lah yang ada kan? And you know what I mean? Macam seronok tengok depa post kat social media depa ke'sweet'an bercinta, kemanisan bersama and so on (omg, so geli to say this).

And I would like to remind you (especially boys), bila dah masuk umur 20-an, bukan lagi masa untuk kita bermain-main atau acah-acah bercinta sedangkan di hati kita takde niat nak berkahwin dengan dia. Di hati kita takde niat untuk menghalalkan dia as part of your family and your life.

Please, DON'T DO SUCH THING!

Mungkin ada orang kata,


"Alah awal lagi kot nak cari and then to be so serious in the relationship. Kalau jumpa orang yang lebih baik dan cantik dari dia macam mana? Menyesal weh nanti."


Okay, kalau rasa awal sangat, better you don't try lahhhhh. It's simple. Life is sooooo simple.


Tak salah kot nak aim awal. Kalau niat tu dah ada, in shaa Allah, Allah akan permudahkan segalanya. Benda baik, Allah pun suka. Percaya je pada rezeki Dia. Yang penting, niat kita betul.

Minta restu mak ayah masing-masing pun penting. Let your parents know about your relationship. Because REDHA ALLAH TERLETAK KEPADA REDHA IBU BAPA. Remember that thing!


Kalau your parents pun tak redha anak dia bercinta time belajar, how come your kisah cinta tu nak sampai ke jinjang pelamin? It must be hard, trust me. Don't be afraid! It's your decision. You know your parents soooo well, why is it so hard to tell them the truth?

Am I right?


Jodoh is misteri. Yes, no one could deny this thing. Tapi tak salah kan kalau dari sekarang kita doa nak jodoh yang baik? Tak salah untuk minta Allah permudahkan urusan jodoh kita akan datang.

Tapi fikir terlalu berat sampai melupakan perkara lain pun, that's not good lah. Kena balance and equal.


Relax, we are in our own timezone. The time will come. Cepat atau lambat, that's not the biggest problem pun. Yang penting adalah diri kita. Kita dah persiapkan ke diri kita untuk menempuh alam baru?


Janganlah sebabkan kawan-kawan kita or maybe family member kita nak kahwin/ dah ada pasangan pilihan hati and then kita pun menggelabah cari tangkap muat je just to tell the world or to show off that you also dah ada the special one, like what the hell mannnnnn.....


Well, same goes to girls out there okay! Please, just don't do this.


Bercinta memang indah. Tapi kecewa itu sakit.
Bagi harapan isn't good at all.

Sekarang, kita buat orang.

Mungkin akan datang, orang akan buat kita balik.



What you give, you will definitely get back!



So, relax okay teman-teman. We are in our own timezone.

Jangan pernah merendah-rendahkan diri sendiri. Relax lah, baru 20-an kot! Ramai lagi gegadis yang cantik jelita grad overseas and bekerjaya yang belum kahwin lagi tapi dorang relax je (okay, padahal tak pun HAHAHAHAHAHA).


Remember,

Don't pretend. Love and be yourself.
Mesti akan ada orang terpikat, okay?

Okay dah, muah cikeddddd :*

I love this one! Source: Google.com

A father's love is eternal

"Kita sibuk nak crush suka kita tapi kita tak nampak abah-abah berhempas pulas nak jaga anak dara dia." -Nurin Aida

Allahu :'))) This is sooooooo true! Betullah, kebanyakan daripada golongan kita (muda) yang kahwin muda, most of them (I'm not saying all of them, obviously) kahwin sebab nafsu. I mean, that common feeling yang sedang membuak-buak especially untuk budak-budak baru nak up ni.

Nak orang sayang.

Nak sayang orang.

Not thinking about the commitment.

Not really thinking about the future.

Kahwin then cerai. Tu yang tak best dengar.

I'm not saying that kahwin muda is teruk tapi kena faham balik niat asal kenapa kita kahwin. Aku tak menolak mahupun anti. Neutral. Cuma ada beberapa perkara (I guess it's a lot) yang perlu difikirkan sedalam-dalamnya before go to another step.

Betul dah mampu? Zahir dan batin?

Like my dean said during my first time menjejakkan kaki as a 1st year medical student, 

"Kebanyakan yang kahwin awal, lepas kahwin semua merosot. Tak semua lah tapi kebanyakannya. Dan saya galakkan untuk awak tidak berkahwin semasa masih medical student. Kalau dah ter-kahwin, tahan dulu nak buat anak."

Sekarang, aku faham kenapa.

Lebih-lebih lagi anak perempuan.

Memang bukan mudah untuk seorang ayah melepaskan anak perempuannya kepada seorang lelaki masih samar-samar masa depannya. Seorang ayah sentiasa berusaha berhempas pulas menjaga anak-anak perempuannya daripada diganggu oleh lelaki yang bertuhankan nafsu. Ayah juga lelaki dan pernah menjadi muda, masakan dia tidak tahu apakah keinginan seorang lelaki. Dia juga boleh membezakan antara lelaki yang benar-benar baik mahupun hipokrit. Dia juga mampu mengenali lelaki yang benar-benar ikhlas ataupun ada udang di sebalik batu.

Kerana ayah juga seorang lelaki.

Bersyukurlah jika ayah masih menegur the way how we dress, ikhtilat antara lelaki dan perempuan, marah sebab balik lewat eventhough tak sampai malam, tak bagi balik dengan lelaki sebab satu sebab sahaja.

Dia sayang anaknya. Sayang yang amat dalam.

Seorang ayah sangat protective.

Walaupun nampak je macam tak kisah, tapi di sudut hatinya, sentiasa mengambil tahu perihal anak-anak melalui ibu.

Dia mungkin tidak pernah menangis di hadapan kita, tapi dia juga tewas dalam sujudnya di hadapan-Nya kerana mendoakan keselamatan dan kesejahteraan kita.

Sentiasa mendoakan yang terbaik untuk kita.

Adakah kita tahu?

Dia mungkin nampak cool bilamana anak-anak telefon hanya bertanyakan khabar ibu, tapi dia sanggup datang ke tempat anaknya menuntut ilmu, ajak keluar makan bersama walaupun sekejap bertanyakan khabar dan mengharapkan kita juga rancak berbual dengannya seperti rancaknya kita berbual dengan ibu.

Tidurnya mungkin tidak pernah lena memikirkan kemahuan anak-anak yang masih belum tercapai.

Kita tidak pernah boleh baca fikiran seorang ayah.

Tapi, kita sibuk menyibukkan diri dengan perkara yang tak penting. Kita sentiasa tidak berusaha untuk menggembirakan hati ibu ayah kita.

"Alah ayah, asalkan lulus walaupun tak dapat A."

Itu kan jawapan kita di hadapan mereka?

Bila mana kita kata penat belajar, fikirlah bahawa ayah tidak pernah berkata dia penat mencari rezeki untuk kita.

Dia tak pernah kata dia nak ponteng kerja sebab malas.

Dia tak pernah sengaja melewat-lewatkan diri sebab taknak pergi kerja.

Kalau boleh, lepas subuh nak bertolak untuk mengelak daripada kesesakan di jalan.

Tapi kita?

Semua kemudahan dah tersedia. Cuma nak dan taknak.

Tapi tulah, kita selalu memilih yang 'TAKNAK'.

Kita selalu nak jalan 'shortcut'.

Well, actually this is the answer from Him for me to decide on something lah. Betullah, apabila Allah datangkan perasaan resah dan gelisah untuk melakukan sesuatu, there must be something wrong with that.

Kerana dosa tidak pernah membahagiakan.

O Allah, please protect me no matter where I am :')))

Attention-seeker at 20?

Bila dah masuk 20 ni memang kita akan jadi attention-seeker ke macam mana eh?

Tak tahu lah nak cakap macam mana, somehow aku rasa aku makin kuat merajuk. Sangat kuat!

My style bila merajuk is I did the silent treatment. I didn't say a word pun. Merajuk lah memang merajuk. Tapi orang selalu cakap yang kita selalu merajuk dengan orang yang kita sayang je.

What I wish when I was sulking is ada orang datang and pujuk kita and tanya in a very soft and polite voice (of course it must be not a boyfriend). I wanna have that! Tapi bila aku merajuk je, takde sorang pun datang and pujuk T.T

Weh, aku nak sangat kot ada orang approach kita and try untuk faham kita, faham tak?

Entahlah, sejak sejak 20 ni kenapa tah dengan aku. I'm an attention-seeker suddenly. Rasa macam tolonglah faham and cari punca kenapa aku merajuk woiiii!?!

HAHAHAHA

I know this may sounds funny but it's real lah!

You don't know that feeling. Rasa macam kurang kasih sayang, rasa macam kurang perhatian...

Sebab aku ni jenis yang tak cakap kalau tak suka atau mengharapkan sesuatu. Faham tak?

Tak, korang takkan faham sebab korang bukan aku.

Aku akan rasa macam eii serba salahnya nak minta, serba salahnya nak cakap the truth and end up aku simpan simpan pendam pendam lepastu it burst out dengan cara, merajuk.

Tapi takde sape pun faham T.T

Right now, macam depress pun ada lah juga sebenarnya tapi entahlah. I try to avoid it. Be cool sometimes tapi not so cool. It is unexplainable. It is hard to be explained. No one couldn't understand.

Kembalilah kepada Tuhanmu

"Was it me or the environment or maybe my new friends?"


"So, you're trying to blame them?"


"Kinda."


"I don't think they involved."


"What do you mean? What are you trying to say?"


"I think it's totally your fault. Well, no hard feelings but I have to say this. You might think it's because of others. You blame them because you get influenced by them. And you feel kosong because it's you, who have changed. You changed your lifestyle. Where's your jaga ikhtilat thing dulu? Where's your spirit to be a wanita solehah dan anak solehah? Where's your tudung labuh bulat? Where's your limit when talking to guys out there, you can even make jokes with them, in WhatsApp and in reality? Do you think of them every single day? Do you put aside the Al-Quran? Do you read Al-Quran everyday? How's your hafazan? Do you perform your prayer on time? Have you ever not performing your prayer just because you're sleepy and you wanna continue sleeping and not performing your prayer (solat)? Kalau dengan Allah pun malas, inikan pula manusia. You keep asking, "sapelah nak aku kan?". So, you think you're ready enough to get married? So, do you think it is others fault? You still want to blame them?"


"............ (starts to cry)"


"I know you might get hurt of what I'm saying. I love you as my friend. And because of it, I don't want my friend hilang arah and hilang identity. Kau nampak macam tercari-cari diri kau yang sebenar. You've changed a bit sebenarnya but I don't know how to tell you so I guess now is the right time."


".........(crying)"


"It's okay, Sofeeya. You still have time. Better late than never. I'll always support you from the back. Jom berubah sama-sama. I miss your old you :')"


"Thank you Ca. I just, I don't know. Yes, aku hilang arah sejak keluar sekolah. Yelah, dulu duduk sekolah 24 jam biah solehah. Tapi bila keluar, betullah, kita yang kena pandai jaga diri. You know it's hard?"


"Yes, I know. Mujahadah is so hard and that's because Syurga is so expensive. Bersusah-susah dahulu, bersenang-senang kemudian."





They hugged each other.

Kembalilah kepada Tuhanmu.

Kerana dosa tidak memberikan kebahagiaan yang hakiki.

Just a ermmm...

Pernah tak terfikir,

Mampukah kita menjadi ibu yang baik untuk anak-anak kita nanti?



20 tahun akan datang....


"Mama, adik teringin nak makan kuih kaswi. Mama buat boleh?"



Pandai ke idak?


Mampukah kita untuk memenuhi kehendak anak-anak sebaiknya walaupun dalam keadaan penat fizikal dan mental.



Ok bai, aku cuma terfikir je.

P/s: dah lama tak update blog, rindu, tapi takde topik nak bincang.